I just got done reading all of my blogs from past times in Nicaragua. When I get down there I feel the need to blog because I feel a lot of feels. It is hard to explain them most of the time, so I like to write them down to organize and be able to talk about them better. I had every intention of blogging while I was in Nica, with all of my 'free time' I assumed I would have. It turns out I barely got the bare minimum of what I needed to get finished, finished.
In case you're curious how I made it down to Nica in the middle of PA school, I was blessed to be able to spend my elective rotation working at the Vision Nicaragua clinic. I was able to work in the clinic every morning, as well as participate in 7 outreach clinics in villages who rarely see health care. It was beautiful, exhausting, life-giving, and heart-breaking. There are villages that have no running water, women who work over a wood burning stove all day with no ventilation, and men who are dying from kidney disease due to their work in the sugar cane fields. It sometimes felt hopeless.. Half of helping in this country right now is simply education, how to help prevent illness, and what are important warning signs. I was blessed to work along side Dr. Michael Martinez, his assistant Cony, as well as Nicaraguan nursing students. We were able to tell hundreds of Nicaraguans that we know that they are hurting and they are sick, and that we care about their health and that we were going to help them get better.
Let's also face it, I also got to hug a lot of people I love down there, cry a lot, and be constantly surprised by what Jesus had in store for me.
Something that God always reteaches me when I make it to Nicaragua is that life is a process. In America, we have so many ways to get instant gratification that we forget about the beauty in the journey to getting where we are going. I know that so many times I get frustrated if it takes longer to get what I want done, or I have to go through an surprise extra step. But in Nica, there are ALWAYS surprise steps, and everything ALWAYS takes twice as long as expected. Sometimes you even have to start all over again and try again before you get something done. I think that's what God does with our lives too. A lot of time I just want to be the finished product that God has created me to be, but that is not what He promises. He promises to mold us, and shape us, and continually pull the rocks and the crap out of our lives, so that we look more like Him. No one tells this better than the potter, and how he explains the 2 week process of how to make a pot, perfect. And just like the clay in the hands of the potter, our lives too are in the hands of God.
My beautiful Aunt Kathryn of 88 years old passed away while I was away, and that just sucked. She and my Uncle Emory were a beautiful example of a love, and Christ-filled marriage. She made the best applesauce, fudge, and chicken salad. She had a heart for hospitality and just loving people. She will be missed by many. It was heart-breaking to not be in Cleveland with my family, but God is good and does some of his best work when we are in need.
I could probably tell 50-500 stories about my trip, but here is just one. I recently read "The Return of the Prodigal Son", by Henri Nouwen. It is a beautiful story of homecoming and grace. One afternoon, we were traveling a a nearby village for an outreach clinic, to get there we have to take a bumpy road. And when I say bumpy I mean you better stand up for the ride or you will have a sore rear end. On our travel my dear friend Ana, had her cell phone in her pocket, and as we were approaching our village she realized her phone was gone. What did we do? The boys hopped out of the truck looked around, told Mario (who was driving), to turn around so we could look for the phone. We all had our heads out the truck looking for the phone, as bicycle's full of people passed by, we became less hopeful that we would find the phone. All of a sudden Massiel yells-- and there we are stopped 6 in from running over the phone. The boys hopped out of the truck grabbed the phone, handed it to Ana and we were back on our way.
This is such a classic thing to happen in Nica, but this time I was struck. That when doing ministry the road isn't easy, it is really hard. And sometimes we lose what we are working for; we get caught up in numbers, in our appearances, in our difficulties, in what WE want. We forget that all of this is for Christ, that He has a plan and process that we don't understand, we lose the true focus. A lot of time we don't even realize we've lost the faith until long after it's gone. And we can't go back by ourselves, it might even be kind of embarrassing to have to backtrack, but it is necessary. We need all hands and eyes on deck. We might even come close to destroying the very thing that you've been looking for, but it's worth it. It brings purpose, love and peace.
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