To Live with the God who Sees Us.

God has been teaching me this week that it's alright to be brokenhearted and righteous.  Just because we are in a relationship with Jesus does not mean that we have to be happy all the time.  God created us to be emotional beings and to love deeply.  As I read Job and he screams his heart out to Jesus, it's not a bad thing as his friends portray it to be, it's real, it's true, it's how he feels.  Job refuses to deny God, and yet he refuses to wear a mask of how he truly is feeling.  Just like God calls us to be vulnerable with each others he also calls us to be vulnerable with him.

Here are the haps down here in Nica:

1.  SURPRISE ICE CREAM OUTING.  Ice cream down in Nicas is the most fun, especially because it is so dang hot, and especially when they are surprises.  We told our friends we would be practicing music, little did they know we would actually be eating a delectable treat-- and laughing a lot.  We also decided to come back to the project and practice our dancing.

2.  I got to ride back to the project on the front of Santiago's bike-- so fun, and I loved getting to know his heart better, his smile lights up my day.

3.  Was able to experience a Nicaraguan festival-- interesting to say the least.  A lot of horses, people, and sugar covered apples!

4.  A new fun team came in last Tuesday!  We have been on so many adventures it's crazy!  We started our week a Cerro Negro.  We hiked  and took communion on top of the volcano.  This was then followed by  one of the craziest storm I've ever experienced in my life. We were soaked to the bone, phones, and cameras were broken-- CRAY.  Then we all froze as we drove back to project-- being cold in Nica is a weird thing.  

5.  We've been a lot of adventures, tacos in Bethel, activities for widows and sick men, basketball game in a near by city,  church service in Pueblo Rotundo, and a ROCKING Fourth of July party-- we even had some sketchy fireworks.  It has definitely been weird not being in my regular routine-- but has been so good to be with these incredible people serving the Lord.

6.  The past few days we traveled to the Nicaraguan mountains in Matagalpa.  It was cold, and beautiful, and so life getting.  Getting to hang out with some youth from Bethel and grow together as we dug into God's words and what it really means to live a healthy Christian life.  It was a beautiful mix of cultures and to see how God is doing what he does best, restoring relationships.

We are off to the beach with some friends now, and was just encouraged this morning with the words of Hagar this morning, "You are the God who sees me."  Lord thank you for knowing our hearts, before we can even express how we are feeling in words.  Thank you for wanting us to be vulnerable with you, and not fake.  I pray that we continue to learn what it looks like to live with you, so that in you we can discover our true selves.  Amen.

To Live Unplanned

In my life I like to feel secure. I like to know that I have a backup plan, that I'm prepared, that I have a safety net. This week I have been learning that that is not always the best way to live, sometimes we need to jump in to life without those things in order to let God do what he does best; and that is to blow our minds.  

Nicaraguans don't really live this way, they don't have a savings account in case of emergencies, they don't bring extra water with them, they aren't really sure how they are going to get places; but I love that.  I love that in that lifestyle you don't have a choice but to be flexible.  

Here are some life updates:

Last Friday we went to the pool! It was a blast. It was relaxing, and the lifeguard in me was a little stressed. I got to learn more about the lives of my friends, get some new bug bites, hang out with some fish, and play some futbol (I mean I fell like 3 times, but it's okay).  I'm thankful for my adventurous friends who aren't afraid to be goofy and their crazy selves.

 Goyo and I took some naps in preparation for our trek to Managua Saturday to pick up a team.  We got about 20 minutes into our drive to find a huge gas leak and we needed to turn around.  We needed to put the tarp on the old truck, buy oil for it, and clean it out.  We were definitely late, and we were all a little nervous because we didn't know this team, lucky for us (aka God) they were running late too and just really awesome.It was a long day of travel, followed by bagging rice and beans-- and then Ixcel's fashion show (and adventure and story in itself).  I'm glad we could go support her and hang out with friends.

I'm so thankful for the team of 5 that joined us at the project for a few days.  There hearts beautiful, humble, and eager.  It was a blessing to hear the work of Lord in their lives.  Grant and I also got to join them in seeing different ways God is working in Chichigalpa and Chinandega. We were able to see prisons and spread the Gospel, spread some joy in the heartbreaking dump, support some local churches and their new church plant, and just be love.  Rachel and Josh (the leaders of the trip) are planning on moving here with Sammy and a couple others in a year to fight human traffiking.  It was incredible to see how God built connections while they were here.  I am so thankful that I was able to meet these friends and share in our love for the country of Nicaragua.  

Some other cool things that have happened this week:

Grant started teaching English classes in Bethel which he is rocking.  It has been so fun to help out and teach English while learning Spanish

I was able to get a taxi all by myself (a big ode to how much my Spanish has improved)

I met a beautiful friend named Bridelka and our lives are similar yet so different-- our friendship is just fun.

We've had 3 beautiful clinics which have just been really awesome and I've been learning a ton.

I was able to hang out at the New Song clinic yesterday with my new friends Charlie and Monterray.  They are so awesome and are really big dreamers.  I love being able to be a small part of what they are doing for the name of Jesus.

I got to eat ice cream FOUR times this week.

In case you didn't know I LOVE ice cream. I truly believe it helps put you're mind just overall in a better place. Last night we surprised the friends we practice music with and went to Eskimo.  The joy and laughter was so fun I could almost cry.  

Thank you Jesus for always showing up and your faithfulness.   Thank you for Ice Cream, thank you for adventures, thank you for teaching me how to live in a way that I need to rely on you everday!

To Live Wholeheartedly

This past week and a half has certainly been a crazy, beautiful, and eye opening one. A lot has happened so, I'm going to turn this blog into a list.  An adventure list.

1. Sleepover at Conny's. We had so much fun with her parrots and with our friend Erick; eating, dancing, laughing, and trying to learn English and Spanish. Sometimes I can't believe a heart as big as hers can fit into her small body.  I am continually in awe at  how well we communicate and how well she loves people. Also, waking up to a rooster crowing was pretty surreal at the time.

2. Clinic in Versailles. Last Wednesday we had a clinic in a village that I had never been to before. I spoke on easy ways we can prevent diseases, which was a pretty darn cool thing to research. Homes where we set up clinics continually blow my mind.  I am so thankful to be on a team with Dr. Michael, Conny, and nursing students.  I am continually learning that in humblest of places, love is abundant.

3. Thursday Grant and I preached at a service in the village of Trionon with the jovenes.  We also had our second choir performance.  I am thankful that the boys sacrificed watching the futbol game (aka sometimes I feel like the world cup is everywhere right now). Then we went exploring past the banana fields.  We found a really cool pool and place to hang out.  These friends bring so much joy and laughter into my day, I can't help but smile when they are around.

4. My birthday! I must admit it was one of my favorite ones yet.  It started off by being serenaded by the staff, then hanging out with Dr. Michael and Conny because we didn't have any patients, to finding out more about Juan Carlos's life and how cool he is. Then I was booted off to Bethel because the jovenes had to work on my surprise party. Conny took us on an awesome adventure in the river bed behind Bethel with some pretty cute friends.  We then came back to the project for a fiesta! These friends love to dance and eat and laugh and for that I am thankful! I also may or may not have had my face shoved into my cake. Also... in case you were worried I had a beer flavored sucker for my 21st!  I also get to share my birthday with Pastor Antonio and the more ways I can be like him the better.  He loves people so incredibly well I am constantly humbled.  I am so thankful to be able to learn from him this summer.

5. Leon!  Grant and I adventured to Leon Saturday we made to the city all by ourselves (by microbus and taxi and only a little help from Mario), because there was a church retreat here this weekend.  We met up with Carlos and had a ball exploring the beautiful city. We ended our day at a pool and Grant and I's first stay in a hostel! Lady M-- made us feel right at home!

6. The next morning a taxi was suppose to pick us up at 4:30 am for our adventure to Granada.. but didn't show.  We literally had know clue what to do.  God bless Carlos for waking up to see if we made it okay. His ability to care for people is awesome, and his knowledge extensive.  I am so thankful to call him a good friend.  The man who owned the hostel ended up offering to drive us to the gas station where  we met up with Pastor Antonio and Elizama and her boyfriend.  Gracias a Dios.

7. We spent the morning in Granada and all the beautiful views.  We held a church service in a home, and we are praying that God will soon bless them with a church.  Elizama tried her hand at translating and God definitely helped out! We met a boy with spina bifida and it's so hard to care for disabled kids here.  The devices that make living with a disability in the states easier are simply inaccessible here. We ate some really good Mango's and headed to the beach.

8. We went on a boat ride to see the islands of Granada.  This was such a fun adventure with monkeys included! Really cool and crazy.  I am starting to be able to understand Pastor Antonio better which is pretty exciting stuff.  Then we explored the beauty of Granada and I pretty much fell in love with one of the parks (pictures below).  The history in this city is truly incredible.  The colors here too; much more fun than in the states.

9. Trying to recoup after hurricane church from Leon left.  We had to move back all the chairs and all of the kitchen supplies.  Thelma and Juana and their crew came in Monday and washed 70 sheets and pillowcases, yes 70.  40 of which are stilling hanging up all around me.

10.  Yesterday there was a surprise party for Pastor Antonio here (kind of a surprise for all of us) and then I spent the afternoon in Bethel.  I love hopping off the truck and getting to hang out with some fun little friends.  I then ran into Conny where we then preceded to drop off needles to one of our patients house as well as give an injection. She is like the village nurse and it is pretty cool.  We then watched America WIN (like I said, being here is like forcing me to like futbol and I'm pretty sure I tell everyone I like a different team).

11. Today was pretty great, and the past two days in the clinic have been crazy and good.  We have seen some pretty severe infections, and today a woman in early stages of heart failure.  My heart has been breaking lately for it seems that almost everyday I meet someone who's life or someone they love has been effected by creatinia (kidney disease from working in the sugar cane fields).  I also went to Bethel this afternoon and met Juan Carlos the gardener's sweet daughters which was such a blessing.  Erick and I also struggled with the words Thursday (in English) and Next (in Spanish) for about 3 hours.  I'm thankful for his concentration and passion for learning.

I am also reading Daring Greatly, which is all about the importance of being vulnerable.  She talks about how in America we live in a society of never enough; not enough, sleep, money, beauty, time.  Many times we counteract the scarcity with abundance, but the opposite of scarcity isn't abundance... it is wholeheartedness.  I am praying that I learn what it truly means to live wholeheartedly. I think that this wholehearted life is exactly what Jesus was talking about in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to kill steal and destroy, but I have come so they might have abundant life." Not a life with an abundance of things, but a life that is full, a life that is complete in how God created it to be.

Everyday I am in need, and everyday God provides.  Praise be to God who is able to provide us with every blessing in abundance so that by always having enough of everything we may share abundantly in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)