Is God Good? Always.
Is God Sovereign? Always.
Is God Almighty? Always.
Is God Love? Always.
Antonia always reminds of what is true. She reminds me that Gods plans will always triumph and that He will always triumph.
Leaving Nicaragua this summer was really hard. It actually sucked. Like one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's hard to put it into words, when you experience Jesus in such a real way-- it's scary to leave that experience. I remember feeling scared, I wanted to prove to people at home that this summer changed me the ways I knew in my heart that it had. I felt sad because I was able to truly live life with some of the most incredible humans that God has created. I didn't just breach the surface with them, but I got to do ministry with them, do scary things with them, go on adventures with them, laugh with them, cry with them-- and they taught me how to love better. They taught me how to live more wholeheartedly and less planned. I felt beyond blessed, like God had planned this exact timing for me to be in Nicaragua this past summer.I never felt my soul sing like I did this past summer Why did I deserve this? I am still baffled.
I came back to America, and learned to manage my grief, but wanted to feel sad because this summer was over and was not coming back. I had PA school ahead of me, which is kind of hard to look forward to after such an amazing summer.
I am thankful that God blessed me with being able visit Nicaragua again this December for a quick trip. (I left two hours after my last final). I was little anxious about all of the logistics of getting down there, but was so at peace about my visit.
My trip in a nutshell was a lot of hugs and a lot of tears. I also was able to attend the graduation of some incredible friends and some of the hardest workers I know. It's incredible how proud of them I am. Not proud because I had anything to do with their success, but proud because I know how hard they worked and how they didn't give up.
I also had the opportunity to attend the wedding of my dear friend Gema. This girl is sweet and kind and has a beautiful soul. It was so fun to help prepare for her wedding loading up 250 chairs and 60 tables in the blazing sun, as well as doing her hair and make up. She looked gorgeous and was such a blessing to celebrate with her.
I could write a hundred stories... I really could, but honestly I'm not that great at stories. The one I want to tell is one of yucca. When I left this summer, Waldo one of the guards planted some yucca plants to my ankle and I told Luis that I wanted to try some-- he laughed and told me it would be ready until he saw me again in December. This was definitely something I was looking forward to, something that I watched at the beginning, getting to see the completion. I felt so blessed as I stood under the now 8ft tall yucca. Even though I wasn't there, the yucca still grew. I think that's kind of just like what love does. It grows. Whether we are with people we love or away, whether we know it or not it grows. When we plant the seeds and tend it, it grows. That's beautiful and such a great reminder and comfort to know that when I'm in America-- love is still growing.
Leaving this time was hard too. I cried a lot and I was reminded by my favorite people what was true of me and God and my relationships.
As I got onto the plane a tugging on my heart to open up Glennon Melton's book 'Carry on Warrior' moved me to read this passage. I cried as it spoke exactly to my feelings.
'I told him that we don't love people and animals because we will have them forever; ; we love them because loving them changes us, makes us better, healthier, kinder, realer. Loving people and animals makes us stronger in the right ways and weaker in the right ways. Even if animals and people leave, even if they die, they leave us better. So we keep loving even though we might lose, because loving teaches us and changes us. And that's what we're here to do. God sends us here to learn how to be better lovers, and to learn how to be loved, so we'll be prepared for heaven.'
Thank you friends for teaching me how to love better. Thank you for teaching me more about Jesus and how to live simply. Even though for now we aren't together, it was more than worth it.
